10.20.2008

A not so misc. monday

Time for another edition of Miscellaneous Monday. Any excuse to ramble is a good one to me :P

I'm 100% not ready for fall. It appeared all of a sudden, and I'm not all about it. I don't like being cold all the time. NOT cool. The bedroom is always freezing now in the morning, which makes it that much harder to get out of our super comfy warm and toasty bed. No good.

ETA: This started out as a Misc. Monday post. And then I got way side tracked with an issue a friend is facing. So, I apologize in advance for the rant.

I'm so angry at the court system in MD right now. Tell me how, with this history, this woman has ANY right to this boy. (Preface to say, during times she did not have custody of 1st child, he was with friends of mine, which is how I know all this, so I'm mildly biased.)
Drug addict and prostitute.
Gets knocked up.
Continues drugs and alcohol.
Goes to jail.
Gives birth. Baby is born addicted. (Little boy that I know.)
Serves her sentence. Gets out. Gets custody of child back.
Sells childs diapers for drug money. Leaves child in crack house surrounded by other prostitutes, drugs, used needles, etc while she goes out to turn tricks or cop more drugs.
Gets knocked up.
Continues drugs and alcohol.
Goes to jail.
After months in court, custody of first child awarded to my friends. She has zero visitation rights, as she's in jail, and that's a BIT traumatic for a 3 year old to visit mom in jail.
Gives birth to child, child born addicted.
Serves sentence. Gets out. Gets custody of 2nd child back. Custody battle for first child ensues.
Gets first child back.
Starts using again. Starts turning tricks again.
Gets knocked up (are we SEEING A PATTERN HERE PEOPLE?!?!)
Goes to jail.
1st child goes back to my friends.
Gives birth to 3rd child, not born addicted, but used through 7months when she was locked up JUST so the baby wouldn't be born addicted.
Gets out. Battles for custody of 1st child again.
Gets visitation rights for every other weekend. No stipulations on supervision, where she can take him, anything. No short visits for a trial period. Nothing. Right off the bat, visits every 2 weeks.
Then gets full custody.
Knocked up, but tells 1st child she "got rid of it". Awesome.
1st child with her for 2 months. Goes on drug bindge, leaves him with longtime boyfriend and new hubby. After 2 weeks, hubby drops him off at her mothers, saying he can't take it anymore. At some point during those 2 weeks 1st child is beaten with a stick until it breaks. Mother is physically unable to care for him. Calls my friends. Emergency custody is granted to them.
During time before she dropped 1st child off with new hubby, was taking him into awful parts of the city to get drugs. Tied a string around his chest, and tied other end to her wrist so she wouldn't lose him during her drug highs. Back to turning tricks for money. Would leave 1st child sitting on front porch tied to a railing while she turned tricks. Unless she was totally high, and then would BRING HIM IN THE ROOM WITH HER. Yea, totally healthy for a 5 year old boy to see those sorts of things.
Last week, was granted visitations again, every other weekend.
Had 1st child this weekend.

WTF is wrong with the system?! There's ONE family court judge in our county apparently. ONE. AND, said judge has a druggie daughter who's given birth to 2 children born addicted, 1 of whom he adopted himself (I believe). SO WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING JUDGE?!?!?

I'm all for second chances. But not 3rd, 4th, 5th chances. Every single time 1st child goes with druggie mom, he comes back to my friends with more emotional issues than Heinz has ketchup. Apparently at the hearing last week, when the judge made his ruling the childs social worker was in complete and total shock. Could not believe the judge and felt awful. She KNOWS this child is getting more and more screwed up every time he goes with her. He doesn't WANT to go with her. He was in tears when my friends told him his mother got visitation rights and he'd be spending this weekend with her. Which btw, how the fuck is THAT legal? They didn't even have time to file an appeal or do ANYHTING before her first scheduled visitation. AND the judge asked how long she'd been clean, and she reponded 2 weeks, and he said ok. Like that's totally normal, to award visitation to a woman with a HISTORY of drug use and prostituion, a smal child.

It makes me sick. I know this was supposed to be a miscellaneous monday post, but this is at the front of my mind right now. He's the sweet little boy, and it sickens me to think about what could happen to him. She's supposed to have him for Halloween too. So pretty much, think of your closest city, and then think of the absolute WORST part of that city. Then magnify it by about 5, because Baltimore is the dirtiest, grossest, worst, most dangerous city in the entire country, and that's the kind of area he'll be in. On Halloween. With a probably drugged out mom. Yea, totally safe. Way to go MD Court System!

::Sigh:: I can't think about it anymore, it makes me want to cry.
Sorry for such a depressing monday post.

~Col

10 comments:

eve Recinella said...

I love Fall, but I don't like having to get out of my toasty bed, in the dark and when it is cold! LOL

Nikki said...

Wow what a tragic story...it's so sad those poor children have to go through that. I pray that hopefully the courts will get it right and put them with someone who can take care of them.

Jennifer said...

What a horrible justice system we have. I feel so sad for that child and for your friends. I can't imagine going through that with a child I love. There's no way in this world that his "mother" should ever see him again, let alone have visitation or, God forbid, custody. This story sickens me...I can see how you're thinking of little else right now.

jessica said...

I cannot say what I think. Maybe if we take the judge and tie him to a string and then let him sit in those drug houses and see what the little boy sees. I dont know...it makes me absolutely sick. I have no idea how defense attorneys can stomach some of the things they do to get people off. I do not understand how a judge can see these people over and over and not say you know what not only are you never going to see that child again but you should be sterilized so that you will never have another child to put through this hell your other child/ren are going through. Makes me so damn mad!! I went through the DCF/family services court as a child with my mom and the only reason she wanted me back was to collect a social security check for me. She was so in love with the man who abused all four of her daughters she couldnt live without him. Just makes me sick!!

Kresta said...

Oh my gosh, that's awful. I don't even know what to say, but I hope the situation turns around for that little boy.

Lena said...

That is so sad Col. I know all kinds of horrible things that happen and they just turn their heads. I am all for a mother's rights but at some point you just have to say, enough's enough. So sad for him...and his siblings :(

ComfyMom~Stacey said...

I'm all for making sure everyone gets a fair chance and keeping families together & that being with your natural mom is better than foster care etc...but some people just are not cut out for parenthood. Some people really suck at it and should not be allowed near the children they gave birth to. If it was his Dad they probably wouldn't let him near him.
This situation is one of the reasons we have put off doing foster care. I don't think I could follow the court directives in this case.

Tracy said...

Wow Col, to think what that little boy is going through is just heartbreaking. It's too bad they can't petition for another judge to take over the case so that little boy has a chance in hell of becoming a decent human being.

Kari ~ Relocated Dixie Girl said...

Hey Col...hit me up on yahoo or drop me an email. Please. RelocatedDixieGirl on yahoo & relocateddixiegirl@yahoo.com is my email.

momto4boys said...

Col, please keep me updated when you get a minute. I am really sad for this little guy and his siblings and would love to know how things are going with them all. Kudos to your friend for hanging in there and doing the right thing by that little boy, I hope she gets him for good and soon!!! What is to happen to the other kids, do you have an update on them? Sorry for all the questions, this really makes me sad to know that that piece of crap woman can get her kid back after all that....really pisses me off!!!

Thanks for letting me ramble.....
Christine (aka: my4boys)